Roots or Wings?

   January 8, 2018, I traded the camper life in for a more "settled" life. Now, 522 days later I'm unsurprisingly restless and have been for awhile. Being on the road taught me a lot, but so did coming "home."
   I thought being settled would make me happy, and after keeping the same address and job for more than 3 months, I felt like I was in a routine that should make me happy, but it didn't. In typical social media fashion I compared my life to everyone else's. Everybody I went to school with was getting engaged, having kids, buying houses, and they all looked happy. I thought maybe that would make me happy too. But, a ring isn't going to fix a relationship and neither will a child. A big, beautiful house will get lonely after all the shine wears off, and it's hard to see that when you only see the highlights on social media. I felt like all I was doing was working and staying miserable, while everyone else was living their best life.
   I finally got my head out of my ass and got a second job, left my situation and found a new place. I stayed depressed for a few weeks at first but slowly came back out of my shell. So many people I had met on my travels checked in on me and sent me words of encouragement, I really did meet so many amazing people while I traveled. My Virginia friends checked in on me too, lending a listening ear when I needed to vent.
   I think my heart will constantly be torn between seeing just how far away I can get, and coming home to everything I've known. Recently I've seen so many people taking risks and travelling, doing things on their own, and I am so proud of them for pushing past their fears and taking that leap. I forget that a little over two years ago I did the same thing. Left what I knew and headed to North Carolina. Coming home is always an option, and I'd rather come home a million times than never leave once. You never know just how many people you can inspire with the stories you can bring home to share.
   I've been making plans for the next few months, lots of day trips and crossing off some of my Virginia bucket list. I can't be totally rooted, and can't completely let my wings have all the control, I'm learning to find the happy-medium between the two to keep my soul happy.